


Mother is Watching

by spiralicious



Series: 100th Special Challenge Table E [16]
Category: Stargate Atlantis
Genre: 100th Special Challenge, August Special Challenge Rodeo, Community: fffc, Creepy, Gen, Mother is Watching, Rodney is not right, Table E, Timed Fic, can be read as McShep, invisible oatmeal
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-31
Updated: 2020-08-31
Packaged: 2021-03-06 18:07:18
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 615
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26213119
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/spiralicious/pseuds/spiralicious
Summary: John is mildly disturbed to find Rodney in the early morning eating oatmeal that isn't there.
Series: 100th Special Challenge Table E [16]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1807858
Comments: 1
Kudos: 12
Collections: Froday Flash Fiction Little & Monthly Specials 2020





	Mother is Watching

John wasn't as surprised as he should have been to see Rodney up and sitting at a table in his lab so early, after all, it wasn't unlike Rodney to spend all night on a project, but there was something about how alert he was that gave John pause. John himself had only been up long enough to get ready for his morning jog. Rodney was sitting at a lab table, perfectly, damn near regulation presentable, and, for lack of a better term, perky. Something was clearly wrong. 

Sheppard went in to investigate. There was something disturbing about a Rodney McKay with perfect posture, gleefully.... what was McKay doing? Rodney had a spoon in his hand and kept dipping it toward the table and bringing it up to his mouth like he was eating something, only nothing was there. 

“Hey, McKay, what're you working on?” John hated the way his voice cracked while he tried to keep his tone normal, friendly even. 

Rodney turned towards him with a smile. John was immediately reminded of amusement park animatronics. “Enjoying an early morning bowl of nutritious oatmeal, as we all do.” 

_Nope, nothing weird about this at all_ , John thought to himself. “Oatmeal?”

Rodney tilted his head to the side. His movements were stilted. “You're out of uniform, John.”

John took a step back. He wasn't sure why, but the little hairs on the back of his neck told him to keep his distance. “Yeah, you know, early morning jog?” He was ignoring the fact that McKay had actually called him John for the moment. 

“Exercise is important... but Mother will be displeased.” 

“Mother?” John took another step back.

Rodney pushed back in his chair to stand. It was a less than fluid movement. He took a step towards John holding a bowl that clearly wasn't there. “Mother is watching.” He tilted his head to the side again. “She'll forgive you this time, exercise is important, but you are missing breakfast.”

“I am?” John mentally went through all the various scenarios that could be happening; he slept through an invasion, alien bug, alien virus, McKay had been replaced with a robot, Ancient tech gone wrong, Todd found a new way to screw with him...

“Yes,” Rodney extended his arms, pushing the imaginary bowl towards John. “Proper morning nutrition is the most important part of the day.”

“I've never really been big on oatmeal.” John took another step back.

“Mother insists.” Rodney took another step toward him. 

John decided to play along for the moment. “Alright, no need to get pushy.” He mimed taking the bowl from Rodney, only to find that his fingers actually made contact with something and it had weight. There really was an invisible bowl. And now that it was close to his face, it really did smell like oatmeal. 

Rodney tilted his head to the side again. “Eat, John. Mother is concerned.”

John considered the possible ramifications of eating invisible oatmeal, and of not eating invisible oatmeal, when he felt a pain in his side. And someone was shaking him.

When did he close his eyes?

He opened them to find Ronon staring at him, way too close to his face. “If you're going to kiss me, you have to give me a minute to put my face on.”

“He's awake!” Ronon bellowed behind him and stepped away. 

McKay raced forward and hit the ground so hard next to him, that John's knees hurt in sympathy. McKay roughly grabbed John's face and started examining him. “When will you stop being so stupid! You do realize...”

John tuned out the rest of the rant. He was relieved. He'd only been hallucinating near death, again.

**Author's Note:**

> Written for FFFC: Table E: Weird AO3 Tags: 1. invisible oatmeal & FFFC: August Special Rodeo: Calf Roping: 30 min


End file.
